Ultimatum

You hurt me once,

and say all the right things.

All is forgiven,

shame on you.

I feel anxiety twice,

I’m hurt once more.

All is forgiven,

shame on me.

Third times the charm,

we talk,

I cave,

When will I learn?

Enabling is a scary thing,

for someone who likes to give

herself so totally.

When will you learn that I won’t tolerate this?

that I have meaning and worth

and value?

Consider this your warning.

I will walk away the next time.

Because I am aware of my heart,

I have it tattooed on my skin.

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Kitchen Sink Chicken Soup

Chicken Soup

Preheat over to 350

Olive oil, salt and pepper half of a spaghetti squash

Place in over for 45 minutes

 

Put minced garlic in the bottom of the slow cooker, turn on to high heat 4 hours.

Chop up bell pepper, any color

Place in the bottom with the garlic as it is beginning to heat up and brown

Place organic, grass fed boneless skinless chicken breasts on top of the peppers

Salt as desired using organic Sea Salt, and pepper as desired

Place kale on top of the seasoned chicken.

Pour half of a container of organic chicken broth (or until it nearly covers the chicken) making sure to pour onto the kale in order to have it cook down.

Place lid and allow to simmer for two hours.

After two hours, open lid and stir, making sure to push the kale into the liquid.

Add about half a carton of organic, culinary grade coconut milk and stir it in until its dissolved.

Add about a cup or so of coconut flour to thicken, stir, and return lid and allow to simmer for another 2 hours.

 

After the 4 hours are complete, scrape the spaghetti squash, and ladel the soup over the top of it and enjoy!!!!!!

 

I Got a Tattoo

I got a tattoo

It’s like a permanent grave for feelings

That I hope have been buried deeply

Never to resurface again.

They have been put to rest,

 

With a tulip sealing their fresh inked grave

A different kind of pain blossoms where

Something far more sinister lurked once before.

 

Words from a suicidal poet have given my grief

Much needed relief from constant atrocity of fixation

Moments without consolation,

feeling the hands of some rougher assailant touching my skin.

 

Gloved hands glide over now, soothing and stinging

Like little sharp pecks from a white doves head.

Words of power and affirmation stand proudly

Where once malice and hurt were branded.

 

I’ve taken the time and I have paid the man

To wash away someone else’s sin

Like a baptism on my suffered skin,

I can feel renewed,

 

My lease on life is signed and dated,

April 16, late 8 PM.

I’ll live until it is my time

And I’ll be buried with these marks

 

Marks that lock away demons

Where the word tulip now grows against this skin of mine

Proudly moving ever forward,

Alive until it is my natural time to die.

 

Thank you, Ms. Plath.

Compassion

Sometimes

I find the weight of the universe resting on my shoulders

In the sense that humans are so small in the grand scheme of anything

It makes it hard for me to breathe.

But then I meet people in my life

Who just are so much more than merely a person

Who have something to give to this world,

With hearts and minds so grand.

People who love unconditionally,

Those who live with unprejudiced hearts,

People who smile for no apparent reason,

Who have living life down to an art.

Being a human is so much more than playing lord over it all,

It’s about respecting everything, even the small

It’s about the connection between introspection and interaction,

The love that binds us all.

I want to be a person capable of such kindness,

Such compassion, and such respect.

Someone who puts others before herself

Not because I am told to but because I have seen others act,

In such a loving, and human way.

I want to inspire others as you have inspired me,

Giving people hope for tomorrow,

Despite the hardships of today.

You are such a wise and loving person,

You have loved me so much,

I can’t form the words to even begin to describe how this has affected me.

Needless to say:

I hope to love someone in such a humble way.

Starting today I will strive to love myself

In the same way that you love me

So that I can love others uncompromisingly.

I hope you get,

That now I know,

That the universe is such a big place,

But is meaningful because of people like you.

I love you,

Like a dandelion who is growing,

Full of hope and promise,

Because I am going to bloom into a person

Who has something more to give

Because you have helped me see

What it means

To be a little, insignificant blip in the universe

A human, me.